Nacos For Rufus
by G-Go
Summary: Inspired by the short story Flowers For Algernon, this is a little one shot in time for Halloween. Read and be afraid.. or just enjoy. Note: Not part of the REUNION universe.


Author's note: This is a little something for Halloween. I enjoy a good fright story as much as anyone, but for me, the scariest stories are those that frightene me on a psychologically disturbing level as opposed to just "boo!" type ghost stories. To my mind, the scariest movie I've ever seen is 'Apocalypse Now'... and one of my favorite short stories of all time is "Flowers For Algernon", though that one is more bittersweet than anythign else. I've taken that story as inspiration and built my own (hopefully) frightening tale using its formula. I hope you enjoy, and Happy Halloween everyone...

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NACOS FOR RUFUS

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Middleton General Hospital Neurological Research Division case study # X4171

Research being conducted into the effects of substance #042485 heretofore referred to as "Enhancitol" which was pending approval by the FDA, but has since been suspended. Substance developed by Dr. James Timothy Possible and Mrs. Dr. Possible in a co-sponsored effort by the aforementioned hospital and Middleton Propulsion Laboratories, for the purposes of boosting inherent intelligence levels in humans.

This is a documentation of the only human test subject for Enhancitol. For information on animal test subjects please refer to case study #X4171 under the heading "sub-human test subjects".

Please note that approval was gained from the FDA to go ahead with human test studies after documented successful trials on animals was submitted to the Administration. As of this date, a full investigation into the defective nature of Enhancitol is currently being conducted with the cooperation of both Drs. Possible. The investigation remains ongoing and the following transcriptions are considered classified material pertaining to said investigation.

Subject: Ronald Stoppable

The following are transcripts from audio journals obtained from Middleton Propulsion Labs as well as various other locations including the remains of a lair belonging to the international criminal known only as "Zorpox" AKA Ronald Stoppable. The special investigators office has requested these transcripts be created so that definitive duplicate documentation of the drug trial will be available and that the audio versions will not be the only documentation in existence.

Everything transcribed here is reproduced exactly as it was said in the audio recordings (unless otherwise noted). Those speaking on the recordings are delineated originally by their full names, and thereafter only by designated initials.

••

Audio Transcript #1

Ronald Stoppable (RS): "Uh… hello? Is this on? What am I supposed to say?"

Mrs. Possible (MDP): "Just say whatever you feel like Ronald. We want to document the effects of Enhancitol in your words. We're keeping plenty of notes and so on. We just want your perspective."

RS: "So, I can say whatever I want to?"

MDP: "Absolutely."

RS: "YO! Listen up! Cap a holla from Ron! The naked mole rap is the name of the-"

Kim Possible (KP): "Ron! Focus! Mom and Dad just want you to describe what you're feeling!"

RS: (laughter) "Oh c'om KP! What I'm feelin' is this funky beat I'm tryin' to lay down! What? Oh all right… uh, hey… everybody, scientist dudes… whatever… this is Ron Stoppable. I'm supposed to describe my feelings, which isn't exactly an easy task for a guy… all right KP, you don't have to give me that look… uh, anyway, this is Mr. and Mrs. Dr. P's experiment and I'm their first human guinea pig, which I guess makes me a rodent kinda like Rufus! Oh, c'mon Rufus that was funny and you know it! Why is everyone looking at me like that? (sigh) Fine… my name is Ron, and I'm taking this pill that's supposed to make me get smarter, except I've been taking it for a couple weeks now and I'm still flunking my biology tests! But, uh… yeah… this Enhancitol thing is supposed to make me smarter, which would be pretty freakin' sweet if it works. Drs. P-squared told me all the tests on animals were totally successful so I guess we got a bunch of smart monkeys and gerbils running around here somewhere… OH! I almost forgot! Mr. Dr. P told me that monkey they sent into space… the one I've been e-mailing every day since we were up there… what's his name? Right! Frederick… anyway, I guess he was an early… uh… what do you call 'em KP? Yeah, "test subject"… anyway, that's kinda cool. But like I said, I've been taking this pill for a couple weeks now and I don't feel any different. Um… I guess that's it for now… I'm supposed to carry this MP3 recorder around with me and just kind of talk about what I'm feeling and so on, see if I notice any changes. Whatever. Hey Rufus! What are you doing over there?"

(recording ends)

••

Audio Transcript #2

RS: "Boring, boring BORING! I hate my homework! Kim says it's because I don't get it. But I think it's just because my teachers want to prove how stupid I am… and it's working. Speaking of working, this pill is so NOT having any effect on me. I've been taking it for almost a month now and come up with diddly squat in the intelligence factor. Rufus, cut it out. Anyway… this is like, Day 25 or whatever, I don't know. KP and I went on a mission last night and as usual I was no help at all. If this thing is supposed to make me smarter, how come I keep screwing everything up?"

(recording ends)

••

Audio Transcript #3

RS: (unintelligible) "Watch it KP! Three from above!"

KP: "I see them, Ron! Good eye!"

RS: "Actually, I didn't see them, I just figured some of them would get up there and try to surprise you."

(unintelligible noises, sounds of what may be impact blows)

KP: "You figured the sitch out perfectly, Ron! I think the Enhancitol is working."

RS: "Coolio! I was wondering when those things were gonna get my smart mojo workin'. I'm gonna go see what I can do about the Kill-o-zap Ray."

(various electronic noises)

"I think the shut off would be these three buttons here, but what sequence would they go in? Rufus, push the blue one first, and then the yellow one. I'll get this one."

Drew Lipski, AKA Doctor Drakken (DD): "What? What happened? My Kill-o-zap Ray! How did the buffoon figure out how to shut it off? I don't even know that sequence!"

KP: "Spankin' Ron! No explosions this time! Mom and Dad are gonna want to hear about this."

RS: "I'll make another recording with the… woops! I accidentally turned it on. Let me just…

(recording ends)

••

Audio Transcript #4

RS: "What up Mr. and Mrs. Doctor P? Ron Stoppable here with some bon diggity news! Today I figured out how to shut down one of Dr. Drakken's machines without destroying his lair… he was actually a little grateful for that. And then tonight… I know you're hungry Rufus, I'm trying to get this recording done, we'll go to Bueno Nacho afterwards… no, I promise… uh, anyway, yeah, tonight I figured out what "Photosynthesis" means! It's the absorption and conversion of sunlight, carbon dioxide, and water into a kind of sugary food for plants to live! And you know what's really sweet? Ha ha! No pun intended! What's left over is pure oxygen! I totally didn't know that! All the trees and plants and stuff make the air we breathe, and they take in water, light and the carbon dioxide we breathe out! That's so cool! I… all right, all right Rufus… we're going…

(recording ends)

••

Audio Transcript #5

RS: "Let's see, I guess it's been about two months since I started Enhancitol. Not sure what I should make a note of here. Um… all my grades have improved at school. I no longer need Kim's help with my homework. Wade says he's noticed an improvement in my vocabulary but I haven't really. What do you want, Rufus? Oh, all right, I'm feeling kinda hungry anyway. Um, I guess that's it for now.

(recording ends)

••

Audio transcript #6

RS: "Interesting developments since I made my last entry. The new semester has begun and Kim and I are taking advanced Trigonometry. She says it's a little above her but I promised I'd help her when she needed it. Still taking Enhancitol every day. Actually, I've been sneaking an extra pill in the evenings, but I haven't told the Possibles yet. I mean, the progress I've made is remarkable, so I thought I'd speed things up. I've looked at some of the data on the animal test subjects and of note was Frederick's advancement due to the increased dosage after a year's treatment. Made the honor roll for the first time last semester. Kim says she's totally proud of me. But the really fascinating aspect of this is that I've begun to learn some combat techniques from Kim. She says I'm a fast learner. And if you want proof of that, yesterday I took down five henchmen by myself. Not too shabby. Rufus? Where are you? How about something different tonight? I'm in the mood for risotto.

(recording ends)

••

Audio transcript #7

RS: "Actually, my dear Professor Dementor, this is a recording device. I've just switched it on to make a historical note of my impending triumph. I trust you don't have a problem with that."

(unintelligible noises)

RS: "What's that? Oh, how silly of me. Well, I suppose I could remove your gag, but then I would have to endure that insufferable howl you use for a voice. No, I think I'll just go ahead and fire your weapon."

KP: "Ron! No!"

RS: "Trust me, Kimberly… I know what I'm doing."

(unintelligible noises… several loud reports)

RS: (laughing)

KP: "Ron, that could have killed us! And I think Dementor might be…"

RS: "Dead? But of course he is. I wanted him to feel humiliated at his utter failure before he expired, killed by his own Deathray… or rather, his own incompetence. (more laughter).

KP: "Ron, I'm saying that killing him was unnecessary."

RS: (sighs) "Kimberly, he died from his own idiocy. I simply pressed the button he was going to press inevitably. And now we don't have to worry about such a nuisance any more."

KP: "That's what you said about Killagin."

RS: "Killagin misjudged his stroke."

KP: "You saw that ricochet coming and shoved him into the path of his own exploding golf ball!"

RS: "Which never would have killed him if he hadn't hit the ball in the first place. Honestly, Kimberly, as a hero you've got some very admirable qualities, but you've become a rather tiresome sidekick."

(silence)

KP: "Excuse me? Since when did I become your sidekick?"

RS: (chuckles) "Oh my, Kimberly, did it get cold in here or is it just you?"

KP: "Ron!"

RS: "Unclench, would you? We both know who's been the more effective member of this team lately. How about riding in the side seat while I drive? Or is the great Kim Possible unwilling to take the position she forced her best friend to occupy all these years?"

KP: "Is the recorder still on? I've got some things I wanna say that I don't want anyone but you to hear."

RS: (laughter) "All right, I'm turning it off now."

KP: "Good. Now listen up you stuck-up son of a…"

(recording ends)

••

Audio transcript #8

RS: "I just want to get it on record that Kim's broken nose is her fault, not mine. She shouldn't have said those things to me that day. I mean, I don't blame her for being envious of my newfound abilities, but that doesn't mean she has to be disrespectful. She wants to take a break from the hero work for awhile. Fine. I could use a bit of a break from her as well. Let her go be some stupid cheerleader. I can take care of the villains on my own. I suppose I should note that I've increased the dosage of Enhancitol to three pills a day. This seems like a more effective method of treatment to me. Rufus? Where are you? I'm hungry. What? Nacos again? Why do you insist we eat such bourgeois fare? No. We're eating some place respectable.

(recording ends)

••

Audio transcript #9

RS: "This might be my last recording. I haven't seen Kim in weeks, and Wade refuses to talk to me. I am weary of the tediousness of this experiment as well as the shortsightedness of the Doctors Possible. When they found out I had increased my dosage, they immediately cut off my supply. I found this to be utterly hilarious, as though synthesizing the substance wouldn't be the simplest task on the planet. Fools. In fact, when I produced the second batch of Enhancitol, I managed to infuse the substance with a more concentrated mixture of serotonin. Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed that I didn't figure out that modulating the metabolite '5-hydroxy-triptophan' was the key to the improved formula. Anyway, I sent an e-mail to Dr. Possible explaining his foolishness to him. No reply, but no surprise either. In fact, I didn't get a reply to the e-mail I sent to Dr. Hawking explaining the glaring flaw in his quantum theories. I think he's somewhat baffled by my Linear Gravitational Flux Theory… of course, I only call it a 'theory' because that's what protocol demands, despite the fact that I've proven it mathematically. Indeed, it's either that, or the fact that I had to invent an entirely new mathematical theory … I'm calling it 'Fluxenomotry', clever, no?... to bolster my findings. But I think that… wait a minute…"

(long silence)

RS: "OK, this might be interesting. I think I've developed a solid mathematical formula that should allow me to explain rifts in the space/tie continuum. If I'm right, then I might be able to come up with a way to make time travel possible. Ha! I haven't been to Middleton High School in months. I bet they'd be surprised at what I know now…"

(recording ends)

••

Transcription note: The following was transcribed from audio recordings recovered from the remains of a lair known to have belonged to the criminal known as "Zorpox", AKA Ron Stoppable. He will still be designated as "RS", but the transcription delineations will begin at #1 at the request of Global Justice.

Zorpox audio transcript #1

RS: "I've decided to continue my recordings for the sake of posterity. I think this will be an important documentation in the evolution of humanity. Though to be perfectly honest, there are days when I think it would be more beneficial to simply eliminate humanity all together. I wiped out the entire villain community weeks ago, and did they thank me? Of course not. In fact, some of the major newspaper editorials have called me 'the worst villain of them all.' I mean, the audacity! The arrogance! The unbridled… ungratefulness! But you know what the most pathetic thing is? They're calling me 'Zorpox!' As though I were some sort of cartoonish supervillain. That imbecile Shego fed the name to a reporter when she gave an interview on the 'accidental' death of Doctor Drakken. Of course, reciprocity had to be satisfied, and I took care of her for what she did. No, Rufus, she's not dead, don't look at me like that… heh heh… she's not dead, but every meal Shego ingests for the rest of her life will have to be given via feeding tube."

(laughter… animal gibbering)

RS: "Don't look so scared Rufus. I'll let you out of your cage once you demonstrate you won't try to run away again. In the meantime, eat your Nacos. I made them myself. Rather, I improved them myself. What? You didn't think I was the only one taking Enhancitol, did you? Ah, my dear Rufus, soon the entire planet will benefit from my vast knowledge. We'll all be on Enhancitol in just a few weeks. And there is nothing anyone can do about it. Humanity will evolve, whether they want it or not. In time, they'll realize it's for their own good."

(recording ends)

••

Zorpox audio transcript #2

RS: "The time is close. Everything is almost ready. Since I made my last recording, Global Justice has made several attempts to get in here. Those jerks from Team Impossible got what was coming to them. No, don't look at me like that Rufus, you know I'm right, and besides, it was quick and relatively painless. And Kim… they thought if they sent Kim I'd fall for their attempts to destroy my work. She learned quite the painful lesson didn't she? She'll get used to the wheelchair."

(laughter)

RS: "Of course, they almost got through my defensive systems thanks to Wade. But that won't be a problem any more. Well, to be more specific, Wade won't be a problem any more. I discovered a sort of 'anti-Enhancitol' and delivered it in aerosol form to Wade's house. Unfortunately his whole neighborhood was affected but I can't be blamed for an unpredictable shift in the wind. Honestly, I tried to account for all the variables. Ah well, with therapy, that whole neighborhood should be ready to attend kindergarten in a couple of years. Well, all except Wade. He got the biggest dosage. I understand he has to wear diapers now."

••

Zorpox audio transcript #3

RS: "I need to synthesize this final batch and get it into the delivery booster. I managed to disable or destroy most of the air defense systems within a thousand mile radius, but the aircraft are going to be a bigger problem. All my satellites are in place. Once the relays are on line… Woops, there goes the proximity alert."

(loud booms, electronic noises, some laughter)

RS: "This is getting easier each time. Clearly I'm dealing with tactical amateurs. I'm sure in time the pilots' families will come to forgive me, realizing what it is I am trying to do for humanity. Kim sent me some pathetic video recording pleading for me to think about what I'm doing. What exactly does she think I've been doing all these months? All right, now for the final enzyme infusion and this last batch will be ready…. Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten the fusion sequence. I suppose I should have written it down somewhere. It'll come to me… It'll come…"

(recording ends)

••

Zorpox audio transcript #4

RS: "I still don't remember that last sequence. And now I can't remember what I'm supposed to do with the firing relays once the boosters are in orbit. I wish they'd stop sending the planes for just a few minutes. All the explosions make it hard to think."

(recording ends)

••

Zorpox audio transcript #5

RS: "The launch sequence failed. I'll have to start from scratch, but not today. Something's wrong with Rufus. He just lays there and twitches every now and then. I tried to get him to drink something but his eyes don't even seem to be focusing on anything. He's breathing, but that's about all he's doing. I… there, he just twitched again. Rufus? Can you hear me? Rufus…?"

(recording ends)

••

Zorpox audio transcript #6

RS: "I took the last of my Enhancitol today. I don't remember how to make any more. There's a lot of things I don't remember. Yesterday Rufus had some bubbly white stuff pour out of his mouth. He kind of shook a couple of times and then he stopped breathing. He's still lying there in his cage. I should do something but … what? I don't remember… I miss my school… I miss Kim…"

(recording ends)

••

Zorpox audio transcript #7

RS: "I gotta go. They got through the outer defense perimeter and I don't remember how to activate the secondary security systems. I would fly out of here but I think I forgot how the hoverjet works or something. Gotta go… Rufus? Oh… that's right…

(recording ends)

••

Transcription note: The remaining audio transcrips were conducted at Middleton General Hospital

Hospital audio transcript #1

MDP: "Doctor Possible audio journal entry, supplemental. Ron was brought in today. They found him a couple of miles from his lair. He was curled up in a ball and crying. The GJ agents told me they found Rufus clutched in his hand. Right now he's being kept in an isolated ward under heavy guard. I'm on my way in to check on him now…

(short silence)

RS: "Mrs. Possible! Man, am I glad to see you! No one around here is talking to me. What's happening? How come I'm in the hospital?"

MDP: "It's OK, Ron, I'll tell you everything later. You got very sick, but we're trying to get you well. Just relax."

RS: "It's cool. Hey, can you get Kim to come see me, maybe after cheer practice? How long have I been here anyway? Mrs. Dr. P? Do you know where Rufus is? Where are you going?"

(recording ends)

••

Hospital audio transcript #2

MDP: "Audio entry supplemental. Ron doesn't seem to remember anything. In fact I think he's sort of returned to his old self. I'm going in to check on him now. I brought my daughter along with me to see if she sparks any memories in him."

(short silence)

RS: "Kim! Hi!"

KP: "Hello, Ron."

RS: "Look at this! My bed goes up when I push this button! Then it goes back down when I push this one! Ha ha ha ha! Neat, huh?"

KP: "Yes, Ron, it's neat."

RS: Ha ha ha ha! Your chair has wheels on it! I want a chair with wheels! That would be way cool! Wanna go outside and play after I get better? I could get a chair with wheels and we could race! Ha ha ha ha! That would be fun!

KP: "I'm sorry Mom, I just… I can't do this."

MDP: "It's OK, honey. Let's go."

RS: "Hey! Where are you going? Don't go! Please! I wanna talk to Kim some more! And Rufus! I wanna see Rufus! HEY! COME BACK!"

(Subject Ron Stoppable is crying hysterically at this point)

(recording ends)

••

Audio transcript #3

MDP: "Audio entry supplemental. We've run out of ideas. Ron has lost his capacity for speech. His eyes no longer focus on anyone in the room. Basic motor skills seem to be deteriorating at a substantially…"

(female scream)

KP: "Mom! What's happening? What's wrong with him?"

MDP: "Kim! No! You shouldn't be in here! You need to…"

KP: "Do you see that white stuff coming out of his mouth? Why is he shaking like that? Ron! Can you hear me, Ron?"

RS: (unintelligible grunts and groans)

MDP: "Kimmie, you have to go no…"

KP: "MOM! What's happening to him…?"

RS: (louder groans, sounds of struggling, gurgling noises)

MDP: "Kimmie…!"

(recording ends)

••

Audio transcript #4

MDP: "Final audio entry. The injection was administered roughly thirty minutes ago. Ron's parents signed the authorization this morning. I… if they ever hear this, I want them to know how sorry I am."

Technician: "Doctor Possible?"

(sustained electronic sound)

MDP: "Subject Ronald Stoppable (sobbing noises) time of death; 12:03."

(more sobbing)

(recording ends)


End file.
